Hometalia
by BTheQuiet
Summary: A group of teenagers have traveled out of their world via a new game known as "Sburb." Now this gang has become forced to venture out on a dangerous journey unlike any they've ever experienced. Will they be able to survive to the end?
1. Hometalia

**A/N: Just a little info before we get started. On here, the story will be 3rd person, not 2nd. Why? Because I don't want to break the rules. If it's going to kill you, go on Wattpad and read it. (I would give the link, but it doesn't want to stay :\)**

**It's the same exact story, except I use the word "you" there.**

**As for it being a cross-over, it's a crossover in the sense that I'm using Homestuck's plot. Of course, it will stray eventually, but... yeah.**

**It is not a cross-over in the sense that the characters are interacting. There will be NO Homestuck characters. I just thought I would let you guys know in advance.**

**Also, the characters problem aren't: a.) used to what you see -or- b.)how you picture them. Sorry, I often apply my headcanons...**

**One final thing: This is a Non-Nation AU. I would call it Human AU, except for the fact that not all of the characters are actually human... :/**

**Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the story. I'll shut up now :)**

**Oh, and even though it should be OBVIOUS since you're reading it here,**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia or Homestuck. If I didn't, I wouldn't be writing a crossover about the two.**

* * *

A bright young man stands in his bedroom. On this date, the 4th of July, it just so happens to be his fifteenth birthday. Strangely enough, though he was born fifteen years ago, it isn't until today that he will be given a name.

What shall this young lad's name be?


	2. Enter Name

Peevish Loudmouth.

Guess again, wise guy.


	3. Try Again

Alfred F. Jones

_Well, it will do._


	4. Examine Room

His name is ALFRED F. JONES. Nobody really knows what the F. stands for, but it's merely of trivial importance what it stands for anyway. As mention in the beginning, today is his birthday. A number of PIES litter his room at the moment. He has quite a few INTERESTS. He has an infatuation for anything relating to SUPER HEROES. He wishes to become recognized as a PROFESSIONAL ILLUSTRATOR, but he SUCKS at DRAWING. Alfred is quite fond of TACKY YET CATCHY POP AND RAP SONGS. His free-time is often spent playing GAMES or reading about AIRPLANES.

What should he do now?


	5. Alfred: Read About Airplanes

Why would he want to do that? Yes, the ability of flight is very fascinating and all, but WHO wants to waste their time READING when it's their BIRTHDAY for Pete's sack?!


	6. Alfred: Eat Some Pie

**Eat some pie**.

No. Oh god, no.

Alfred's had far too much pie this week. In fact this mere thought alone is so abhorrent that it has him retching in your in abdomen, as if that were even possible.

Still, his intrusiveness to know of the nauseating filling which occupies the dessert is enough entice his senses.

_Maybe just one bite..._

_NO. Absolutely not._


	7. Alfred: Eat Some Pie Anyway

NO. Absolutely not. Is it not clear why he does NOT want to eat some PIE?

Really, this is just plain idiocy right here. He's not going to eat it.

_No sirree. No pie for me. Not-uh._


	8. Alfred: Peek and See What's In the Pie

Lay off with the pie crap already! This is only making Alfred more pissed off than he needs to be, and it's his freaking BIRTHDAY!


	9. Quickly Retrieve Arms From the Drawer

Why the hell would he do that? He's already got arms, IDIOT.


	10. Alfred: Uncloak & Flaunt For All to See

What on earth?

This proposal probably comes in first as the most asinine proposal that Alfred has ever heard. No matter how inviting it sounds, there's no way that he would ever do this. How utterly HUMILIATING that would be for such a COOL, HEROIC guy such as him.


	11. Alfred: Look at Drawings

Now this is pleasing to Alfred's ears. He quickly retrieves his SKETCHBOOK to marvel at his creations. The world doesn't often produce someone with such immense talent like him. After wasting time gawking at his art, he finally stores it in a CAPTCHALOGUE CARD in his SYALLDEX. As his FETCH MODUS follows the JUSTICE LEAGUE STRUCTURE, he stores it in the SUPERMAN card as SKETCHBOOK. This leaves 6 cards free. Although he enjoys his fetch modus, it limits him as he can only store items beginning with the SAME LETTER.


	12. Alfred: Get on the Computer

Alfred doesn't have anything to do, so he decides to hop on the computer for a bit. The wonders of the internet always seem how entertain him for quite a bit anyway.


	13. Alfred: Go on Youtube

**A/N: I think it would be obvious, but I don't own YouTube (coughcoughorGooglecoughcough ). **

* * *

Alfred decides to check out YouTube. The VIDEOS that people upload are always enough to crack a feel laughs out of him, most of the time. Of course, there are days that NOTHING will make him feel better. He's only HUMAN after all, though. Not even the best of the best can always live a perfect life.

He decides to watch a little PrankvsPrank. Who_ doesn't_ love these guys? After 15 minutes of video watching, he notices a small flashing at the right corner of the screen. _Oh, it's_ _one of_ those _guys, isn't it?_


	14. Alfred: Open the Window

Alfred clicked the flashing window to PESTERCHUM. Once he noticed the GOLD text, he let out a deep sigh. _So it was just _her. _And she's still on too! _

- - titaniumGamer [TG] began pestering aviatorChampion [AC] at 10:09 - -

TG: chào bạn.

TG: so, how's my favorite hero doing today?

AC: hey

AC: you KNOW i'm doing AAAAAWESOME :DDDDD

TG: is that so?

AC: aaaaabsolutely! ! ! ! ! :DDDDD

TG: that's great, because I wish you a happy birthday, Alfred.

AC: thaaaaanks :DDDDD

TG: anytime. so, have you gotten SBURB yet?

AC: not yet, which reeks. it should have been here by now.

TG: when was the last time you checked your mail?

AC: a couple of days ago. i guess i can ask Mattie if anything came yesterdaaaaay...

TG: yeah, I think you should check. it'll probably be there, along with my present. hope you enjoy it.

AC: i'm sure it'll be maaaaad ill

TG: pfffft

AC: what?

TG: that just looks so weird. please excuse me...

AC: i told you about apologizing. we're friends, aren't we? sometimes i forget you're from a different country.

TG: yes, I speculate we _are _friends after-all.

TG: well, let me know if you _did _get. my cousin is demanding my presence, and I can't demur her.

AC: yeah, i should also go and check on Mattie. haven't seen him all morning. not that i'm complain'. dude can be a stick in the mud. imagine what he'd be like if he didn't have such a wicked brother such as me. but you think he'd be the first to tell me happy birthday being my bro and aaaaall.

TG: we can't all be the same though, right?

AC: true. i'll hit you later. hope you're cousin doesn't bore you to death

TG: she won't. I'll be back in a bit...

- - titaniumGamer [TG] is now an idle chum! - -

* * *

**A/N: Chào bạn is a way of greeting someone. I'm not sure if this is completely correct, so if it isn't, then please correct me. **

**I bet you can bet who was talking to him. If you haven't you'll probably figure out sooner or later. **

**Later. :)**


	15. Alfred: Go Check On Your Brother

Reluctantly, Alfred leaves his room to go check on his brother. On his way out, he tripped over one of the numerous STUFFED BEARS which litter the apartment which he and his brother share. _ MAN, Mattie needs to stop leaving his crap everywhere! _Although this is a trait which Alfred also possess, he refuses to admit to it. They are both also compulsive pack rats, not that this is at all relevant.

The first place Alfred decided to search for his brother is the living room. Ah, the living room... The place where myriad hours are squandered through video games. Alfred often ponders why his brother even tries, as he is dreadful when it comes to playing them. But of course, it happens that he is not currently in the living room. But there are a few packages...


	16. Alfred: Open Packages

No... He shouldn't. Oh, hell, who is he kidding? Of course he's going to open these packages. Come on, it's so _obvious _that they're meant for him anyway. It's his birthday, so it's the only sensible thing when he thinks about it. He glances at the packages and tries to decide which one to open first. Alfred's rule of thumb when it comes to gifts is to always open the biggest one FIRST. He seems to have generalized that the biggest gifts are automatically the best. But instead of opening them LAST, he opens them first so it puts him in a good mood (because he's really impulsive and wants immediate gratification.)

Looking at the boxes, he realizes that they are all EXACTLY THE SAME SIZE. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME. Well that makes things easier. After a long deliberation (a very hasty decision) he decides to go with the GOLD box, which happens to be from the friend he JUST CHATTED WITH. Surprisingly, he is very ginger while opening the box. He's not quite sure why though. He just had this SUDDEN URGE to open the box very CAREFULLY.

His hands hover over the box, not wanting to make a mistake. Warily, his hands grab a hold of the tape. He gradually pulls the tape off the top of the package. Once the tape is off, he smoothly folds back the flaps of the box. He prudently lowers his arm into the coffer... and inside, he finds... NO. WAY. He can't believe what he sees. Believing his brain produced a hallucination, he lowers the item back into the box. After a moment or so passed, he retrieves the item again. OH. MY. WORD. It is. His friend got him a brand new SKETCHBOOK, along with HIGH QUALITY pencils. Also inside the package rests a note. He decides to take the time to read the note that his friend wrote for him as THEY obviously took great care in picking out his gift.

Dear Alfred,

I hope you have an exemplary birthday. I judge that you are more than worthy of being able to do so. I find you to be quite cordial, and I venerate you for this. As the world can be such a lurid place, your effulgence provides succor for us all. I postulate that you are destined eminence. I know that no matter what, I will never feel compunction about becoming your friend. In fact, I feel as if your friendship aided in enhancing my life thus far. I profoundly desire for you to be able to express yourself through my gift, and hope for you to share yourself with the world through your art. I fear that it doesn't show how much I value you. No tangible gift, I fear, will ever amount to my fondness for you. Hopefully this gives you an image of it, though. Actually, I intend to give you a more personal gift. But whatever I could come up with, I seemed unsuitable to give you. So when I saw these, I felt that you could at least make some use of it. While I'm at it, I feel as though I ought to give you more adequate thanks for your gift. To this very day, I managed to get great use at of it. To be honest, I struck me as a very strange gift. I found myself at quite a loss as to what to do with it. But once I realized that your intentions were well meaning, I felt oddly enlightened. Exceedingly, I await the day that we meet in person. I sense that it will be soon, however.

Earnestly,

TG

P.S. I reckon that you ought to consider playing a musical instrument sometime. I often sense a subtle artistic vibe from you, and I think that it might even suit you. I hope my opinion is non-offensive.

* * *

**A/N: Not that I think that anyone will see this, but if you do, then yay! I'm curious to see who you want to appear. I'm not going to make any promises, and I already have the kids picked out. I'm still working on the trolls, on the other hand. While I got most of the characters sorted, there are a couple of people I can easily and readily swap out. So, if there's a character you really want to see, leave a review and I'll see what I can do. Feel free to make a request. And if you don't see something that you wrote, I will let you know that I read everything, even if it is an emoticon. I wasn't planning on this, and I would usually never do this, but I guess I want to try and appeal more to the viewer? I don't know. But that's it. Oh, and good news, more interactions are coming up soon, so yay! Later :)**


	17. Alfred: Captchalogue Sketchbook

Wow, his friend is really caring. Alfred thinks briefly about what he can do for her in return before he puts the note back in the book. He CAPTCHALOGUES his new SKETCHBOOK with your old one. He's glad it worked this time, as nothing came flying out like a bullet.

Alfred looks over at the remaining packages. He doesn't know which one to open next, since they're all THE SAME LOOKING. While trying to decide who to message next, an ANNOYING BEEPING emits from his PHONE. _Ugh, who is it now?_ Lazily, he decide to open it. It seems like it's his friend, CG

- -contemplativeGenerator [CG] began pestering aviatorChampion [AC] at 10:26- -

CG: Good morning Alfred.

AC: isn't it night where you live?

CG: It is.

CG: Oh yes today is your birthday right?

AC: aaaaabsolutely! :DDDDD

CG: I wanted to tell you earlier but then I realized that it would have been the wrong day.

AC: all this time zone stuff is confusing...

AC: wait a minute... isn't it the 5th where you live?

CG: Technically, yes. But I am staying with a relative right now and it is an hour behind here compared to my home.

AC: oh, cool. i never get this stuff, lol

CG: It can be a little complicated at times.

AC: aaaaanyway, your relative isn't anything like tg's, are they?

CG: ...

CG: I do not think that my cousin is like anybody to be honest. He is quite an interesting character...

AC: hahahahaha, now i kind of want to now what he's like XDDDDD

CG: You would probably be better off not knowing.

AC: aaaaaw, come on! XDDDDD

CG: Well, people tend to view things differently I guess.

CG: Sigh

CG: Okay. Here it is. My relative has an obsession for explosives.

AC: hahahahaha XDDDDD

AC: that's it? maaaaan, you should meet my brother...

CG: Yeah... Have you gotten SBURB yet?

AC: oh! i did. that reminds me that I should probably go and install it. but i think i should wait for tg to get back.

CG: Okay. Let me know when you get in touch with her.

AC: alright. later :DDDDD


	18. Alfred: Go Back to Your Room

Alfred decides to go back to his room, as he discovered that SBURB had indeed arrived. Before he left, he grabbed two disks with his NAME labeled on them. He guesses that this was the doing of his brother. He quickly capthcalogued them as the BETA DISKS and store them in the BATMAN card. This leaves him with FIVE cards left. He should really think about getting more cards. He's almost made it made to his room, when he hears the beeping noise go off again._ Oh gosh, who is it THIS time?_

- cynicalSwindler [CS] began pestering aviatorChampion [AC] at 10:37-

CS: hey

CS: yeah you, you freaking retard

CS: YOU'RE IGNORING ME, AREN'T YOU?

CS: I KNOW YOU'RE THERE, YOU STUPID AMERICAN.

CS: FINE. screw you. I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY TO YOU ANYWAY.

-cynicalSwindler [CS] ceased pestering aviatorChampion [AC] at 10:39-

_Man, can CS be a pain at times._ But Alfred knows that his way of stating stuff is just a little more... aggressive than others, and that deep down, he means well. Alfred decides that he'll respond to the dude, even though he planned on ignoring CS.

-aviatorChampion [AC] began pestering cynicalSwindler [CS] at 10:41-

AC: oh hey dude, whaaaaat's up?

CS: DON'T JUST FREAKING PRANCE HERE ALL LIKE "oh hey dude, what's up?" LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. I KNOW YOU WERE THERE ALL ALONG. YOU CAN'T FOOL ME, IDIOT!

AC: dude, calm down. i wasn't ignoring you.

CS: I AM CA- I mean, I am calm. But you still ignored me.

AC: i promise i didn't. i was only talking to cg. aaaaanyway, that was so rude, making fun of people with a mental illness like that.

CS: Oh. Okay. Fine, I'm sorry. And why do you care anyway?

AC: i could have a mental illness. it's very possible. anyway, we should take care of others, not insult them

CS: INSULT THEM? Who are you to speak? Stupid hypocrite! You should see what you just wrote. God you sound like somebody so punchable right now. AC: hahahahaha! like you could ever punch me! XDDDDD

CS: What are you saying? YOU THINK I COULDN'T ACTUALLY DO IT?

AC: hahahahaha, it was just a joke dude. maaaaan, you should see your reactions. they are hilaaaaarious. XDDDDD

CS: Gosh, why do I even talk to you? I don't even like you, and just talking to you makes me lose a few brain cells. I'm not even lying. I can see them. Right here. Making a HUGE FREAKING MESS all because of you. It's not even funny, how chaotic this is right now.

AC: whatever, man. i know you actually like me. i don't get why you always pretend you don't man. but hey, look at that, you've stopped cursing me out! yaaaaay! :DDDDD

CS: Heh, don't think you're so special, you piece of crap. I've only stopped using my profanity because of my ANNOYING grandfather! The man's worse than you. -_- Wait, why are we even talking about this? I wanted to talk to you about something important. And before I forget it... I hope your birthday doesn't turn out to be completely miserable.

AC: thaaaaanks, i think. so, whatcha gotta say?

CS: You and your retarded slang. It's about SBURB. Have you gotten it yet?

AC: aaaaactually, yes. but i'm waiting for tg to return.

CS: Oh, I see how it is. TG, huh? Since when did you take orders from someone else? You're so pathetic.

AC: i'm not taking orders, i'm just trying to be nice. even cg asked me before you, and i told him the same thing.

CS: Yeah, okay. Sure. Whatever. Just don't jumble anything. I'm tired of this conversation.

-cynicalSwindler [CS] ceased pestering aviatorChampion [AC] at 10:48-


	19. Alfred: Set the Box on Your Bed

He can't do that. He left the box in the living room, remember? Duh! But he can take out his discs and put them on the computer desk. So he does exactly this.

After removing the SBURB discs, he notices that his phone is blinking and the window he left open on the computer is flashing as well. He checks the window to see who it is. It looks like it's his friend, GC.

- -genialCoryphée [GC] began pestering aviatorChampion [AC] at 10:50- -

GC: ~*~ Hello, Alfred. *:) ~*~

GC: ~*~ Happy Birthday. I hope you have been enjoying your day. ~*~

GC: ~*~ I hope that I haven't caught you at a bad time ):* ~*~

GC: ~*~ Just respond when you do get the case. I'm in no rush. *:) ~*~

- -genialCoryphée [GC] is now an idle chum!- -

Alfred's a little hesitant to answer her. While CG is a lovely young woman, he's not really sure if he's in the mood to have another conversation. He decides that he'll open a few more gifts before answering her. After all, she did say that she was in no rush, so it's all good, right?


	20. Alfred: Go to the Living Room

He doesn't really know what to do (aside from answering GC), so he decides to open the packages. When his phone goes off, he takes it out to see who it is. It turns out to be HS. He checks to see what she had to say.

- -hypotheticalSlumber [HS] began pestering aviatorChampion [AC] at 10:54- -

HS: Hey alfred

HS: I just wanted to say

HS: Happy birthday

HS: Good bye

-hypotheticalSlumber [HS] ceased pestering aviatorChampion [AC] at 10:55-

Well, that was, quick. At least he didn't have to respond. Alfred decides to start playing some music on his phone to help his mood. While he is talkative when he wants to be, other times he prefers to say little. Especially when he just woke up, which happens to be the case today. The song he starts playing is "Just Dance," by Lady Gaga. Man is that song catchy! He begins to dancing to the song. He gets really into it to. So into to, that if a robber were to come into his living room, cover his body with spray paint and set his hair on fire, he wouldn't notice. Well, that's what it would feel like anyway. Not to say that's what happened. No, that's not what happened at all. He just looks like an idiot with nobody to watch. Except for those (scary) abnormal ghost figures his brother keeps around. Alfred's starting to feel like maybe there isn't enough space in the apartment for all of this crap.

* * *

**A/N: I wanted to explain this earlier, but I figured it would be best to wait until now.**  
**But anyway, this is just my way of telling you about the usernames.**  
**They probably look strange, but I tried my best. I guess that America's isn't what you would have originally guessed, but I wanted to avoid outright saying hero. That's because I wanted to be original when creating his username. Every time I see a username for America in a fanfic, it almost always includes the words "hero," "freedom," and/or "burger," and it can get quite annoying. That's one of the reasons why I used "champion" instead. Also, I wanted to keep with the "ACGT" pattern as much as possible. I do know that I have already changed it with Romano and Fem!Greece, but that was because I already used up the 16 combinations before they were added to the mix. The aviator part was just something I added in.**  
**For Vietnam, I wasn't quite sure what would be good. I was trying to think of something that has to do with robots, and I read somewhere that titanium was used in robots. Now that I think about, I should have swapped her combination with Japan's so I could have done "cyborgGamer" but oh well. The gamer part really came out of nowhere though.**  
**Japan's case is also weird. Although the first part is probably easy to understand, the "generator" part might be confusing. I searched it up and saw that generator had been listed as a synonym for designer.**  
**I got Romano's simply by looking him up in one of the wikis. It stated that he was a pickpocket, so his swindler. Cynical should explain itself though. XD**  
**And finally, Fem!Greece. It's the same case with her. But unlike the CS, HS does have some meaning behind it, as it's my little shout out to HomeStuck and HetaStuck. And that's about it for now.**


	21. Switch Protagonists

What kind of command is that? That was just awful. Extremely shabby work. Come on, one can't simply switch protagonists. That's like having a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that someone was devouring suddenly becoming a tuna sandwich. In other words, something without a smooth transition. Things like this require a smooth transition. And who was that even targeted it at in the first place? He has no clue, but frankly, he just doesn't care.

He's still listening to music, even though that honestly isn't the best idea and oh. My. Word. He begins doing a most ghastly dance to the "Harlem Shake." This is going to be horrific. Maybe it would be best to switch protagonists after all. Except, he won't allow that now, will he? While he is busting some (terrifying) sick moves, Alfred fails to notice that there is someone else nearby. Oh boy.


	22. Alfred: Open More Presents

It seems that enough sense has snapped into Alfred for the moment, so he decides to open up the remaining presents. The first he goes to open is the one from CG. Alfred can tell it's from him due to the reddish-brown wrapping paper that matches the color he uses when IMing. Knowing CG, he figures that CG's gift is something really cool. When he grabs the box, he tries to control himself, but instead tears the paper to shreds. His curiosity to find out what is in the box is just too strong. Before Alfred can successfully pull the content(s) of the box out, however, he suddenly notices the presence of another person in the room behind him. Right behind him.

Dropping the box, Alfred turns around quickly. And there he is, Alfred's older brother. In his hands rests a plate of pancakes topped with that irresistible syrup of his. Though the meal is delicious, Alfred fears getting trapped with him for too long. Though he's his brother, he can be a bit of a bore at times. What are Alfred going to do about it?

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so I know it's been ages since the last update. Sorry, things happened, and I ended up forgetting. Anyway, I'll try to update when I can remember from now on. **


	23. Alfred: Strife

Seeing no other way around this, Alfred decides to duel it out with his brother! He quickly equips himself with his BASEBALL BAT from his STRIFE SPECIBUS. He's lucky enough to have made this allocated to his strife deck, and not some silly fork that he almost wound up with. Not that Alfred can see how what weapon he uses will be relevant outside of a case like this. Enough of that, though. This bat is what Alfred needs in order to AGGRIEVE. Not to make an essay. Alfred pours a lot of strength into his arms to swing the bat. Unfortunately, his brother just equipped his own weapon: a HOCKEY STICK. _Not cool, Bro._ His brother AUTO-PARRIES using AUTO-GOALIE, blocking the bat with his hockey stick. Alfred pushes hard with his bat, but his brother's strength parallels his own. This isn't going to end anytime soon if Alfred wants to win. Assuming that he could even win with his brother, that is.

* * *

**A/N: **And here is the next chapter. I recommend that you check out the story on AO3... Anyway, I don't know when I'm going to update again. It could be later on if I get what I need to done, but otherwise it could be tomorrow or Thursday. Who knows?


	24. -Continue-

Seeing as this fight is currently going nowhere, it might be in the better interests of everyone if the story stitches over to a different character for a little w- Scratch that, it seems that Alfred has finally come to his senses. Realizing that aggrieving his brother won't be enough, he decides to try a different move. Desperate times call for desperate measures, as they say. He performs a move that he likes to call "Heroic Escape." As Alfred grabs the plate from his brother's hands and gets away from him, he manages to catch Alfred's ankle with his hockey stick. Alfred falls down, but he manages to catch the plate of pancakes. His brother is indeed a worthy opponent, outside of video games.

* * *

**A/N:**

Woot. Another chapter. Oh yeah. *pulls shades over eyes*

And I finally realized why it is a horrible idea to start a story without thinking everything out. At least now I'm getting ideas, and I can see the ending. Now the hard part is the journey to achieve that ending. But I guess it won't be that bad. Though I am going to need to get a little creative. Not that that should actually be a problem...

On a different note, I have a few ideas for a couple of stories, which I may or may not end up writing. I also have other things I need to work on... But I will update when I remember to.


End file.
